Canine Conversations – You Missed the Westminster Boat By An Ocean

Sherlock and Shasta chatting today;

Sherlock: Oh my gosh! Shasta! OMG! Shasta! SHASTA! It’s awful. It’s horrid. It’s unthinkable.

Shasta: Slow down there my favorite Fruit Cake. What is wrong with you?

Sherlock: I missed the Westminster Dog Show!!!

Shasta: It’s okay. Momma Mim can load it up for you on the telly to watch. Chill.

sherlock looking up close

Sherlock: No. You don’t understand. I was suppose to go to the show. I was suppose to be in the dog show. I was suppose to win the dog show.

Shasta: That is ridiculous.  We aren’t show dogs. We are pet dogs.

Sherlock: You may be a just a pet dog. But that is because you were a puppy mill rescue. I am a show dog. Let me go get my papers. My papers prove I am a show dog.

Shasta: I have seen your papers. A million times. {Sigh} You can line a birdcage with them as far as Westminster goes. First off: there is nothing wrong with me. I am 100% spoo. It is true I was rescued from an awful life. But the people at the poodle rescue found me my Momma Mim and now I sleep in a king size bed, have more than my share of toys and chews, and am the boss of you.

I own you

Sherlock: I let you win…sometimes… But my papers show that my dad was a Canadian champion and my mom was a US champion. My grandfather won Westminster’s Non-sporting group. It is my job to carry the torch and win the whole thing.

Shasta: DNA in your case stands for Don’t Notice Anything. For starters, didn’t you notice the poodles at Westminster don’t look anything like either of us? Let’s start with your topknot. A show dog has a long luxurious topknot. Like this:

black poo photoshoped

Your topknot flops. Like this:

Bad flattop sherlock

Sherlock: I can grow a topknot like you have never seen. Just watch me.

Shasta: Then there is they way show dogs carry themselves. See the great posture on this dog? She looks like royalty.

good posture

Now look at your silly self. You look decapitated.

decapitated sherlock

Sherlock: That bow is cheating. I’m a boy. I can’t wear a bow. But I have perfect poodle posture.

Sherlock good posture

I’m down right regal.

Shasta: Do you know to be a show dog, you have to get Momma Mim to get your hair cut like this good looking guy?

silver dog

You can’t show up looking like this:

11111449915_3bfec34f4a_o

Sherlock: Again! No fair. I had just had a “spa” mud treatment. But ohhhh. Look at that cut. He has ball butt. I want a ball butt. Mine will be the roundest fluffiest balls a butt has ever seen. I know Momma Mim will let me have them. She let me have foot balls. (Get it? Footballs – I crack myself up.)

Sherlock foot balls

Shasta: Speaking of balls… As soon as you stop laughing at  yourself, I will give you the last and final reason you can’t win Westminster. Only dogs that can make puppies are allowed. The original purpose of dog shows was to evaluate breeding stock. And; everyone having the same equipment makes judging more fair. You had your boy puppy-making balls removed. I think Momma Mim has them in a jar in the garage. 😉  So there. This fine rescue dog has just as much chance of winning Westminster as you do.

Sherlock: Oh my gosh! Momma Mim! OMG! Momma Mim! MOMMA MIM!!! It’s awful. It’s horrid. It’s unthinkable…….

~

{Shasta: Thank you to Branna, Carmel, and Calder for helping me show Sherlock what a sharp looking poodle is suppose to look like. And no matter if we are black, apricot, red, parti, silver, brown, or white – toy, mini, or standard – show dogs or pet dogs – rescues or well planned litters: we poodles are always canine superstars!}

Canine Conversations – I Rofve You!

Shasta and Sherlock chatting today.

Sherlock: Hey Shasta? Happy Valentines Day. I rofve you.

sherlock heart one

Shasta: No you don’t. The other day, you ask Momma Mim if the circus was in town and needed any brown poodles.

sherlock hate one

Sherlock: Pssst. Oh Shasta? I rofve you!

sherlock hearts 2

Shasta: You most certainly do not. I took one bite of your treat the other day and you went pure evil.

sherlock hate 2

Sherlock: Shasta! Shasta!! Shasta!!! I rofve you!!!!

sherlock kisses

Shasta: No you don’t. You won’t share your toys, you hog the bed and don’t let me have a pillow, and you laugh when I pass unladylike gas……

……

……

{Sigh.} Hey Sherlock? Will you be my valentine? I rofve you too.

Shasta hearts

Sherlock: I knew it!!!!!!!!!!! You and me – best buds forever. Now, let’s go bug Momma Mim.  I’ll distract her and you steal her cookie from the counter. We are the best team ever………

BFF's

It Wasn’t My Fault – It was going to be a Tabby Coon

Sherlock and Shasta giving you the facts here today.

    Dog shame and share 

Sherlock: I wanted a tabby cat.

Shasta: And I wanted a Maine Coon because a cat in this house would need to be able to show you who is boss when you get in one of your “moods.”

Sherlock: We did something we rarely do – we compromised. We were going to get a Tabby Coon. A tortoiseshell colored one to be exact. Shasta had already started to search Craig’s List.

Shasta: I mean, we had this deal with Momma Mim in the bag. She said, if we ever hit 8500 shares with our blog and video’s, she would get us our kitten.  With my smarts and Sherlock’s – errrr – mannerisms, we had this on lock down. 

Sherlock: But then, in typical unfair Momma Mim style, she added the part about staying out of the laundry.

Shasta: I knew we were sunk because of Sherlock’s addictive personality and my OCD but we gave it a try. Sherlock was the first to break.

Sherlock: It wasn’t my fault. I thought it was just socks so it didn’t seem to be a big deal if I took another item instead. How was I to know that thongs were the gateway drug? 

Sherlock and the thong

Besides, you were the one who opened the door to messing with the laundry in the first place with your never ending need to check out the clean clothes.

Shasta: It wasn’t my fault. Momma Mim depends on me when it comes to laundry. Didn’t she say the other day she finds me in the clean clothes as much as she finds dryer sheets? She can’t do the laundry without me and dryer sheets.

snug bug

Sherlock: Well what happened next wasn’t my fault. She left the drawer open to her clean socks. She didn’t say anything about the clean ones, did she? It was like a hit of pure crack cocaine. Socks and more socks!!!

lock jump

Besides, you were the one who first got into the dirty laundry.

Shasta: Well, it wasn’t my fault she left the load of dirty stuff out where she usually puts the clean stuff to fold. I figured it out by the second sniff. That stuff wasn’t right. 

Laundry

But then you put us on the radar when you tried to steal one right off her foot.

Sock

Sherlock: It wasn’t my fault you drew more attention when you insisted to napping on both the unfolded and folded clean clothes. She knew we were about to break then.

2014-04-07 19.41.04

2014-11-16 19.22.28

Shasta: Hold on, it wasn’t my fault you thought you would be clever and try to hide the fact that you had broken down and taken that sock that ruined our chance of fluffy kitty happiness by trying to hide it behind another toy.

sherlock double duty

Sherlock: Okay, I might have been the one that set her off, but when it comes right down to it, it is Momma Mim’s fault. She knows we are hopeless laundry addicts and she set us up for failure. You know she didn’t want a cat anyway.

Shasta: You are so right Sherlock, it is Momma Mim’s fault. See, we can agree on a lot if we try. 

Sherlock: Let’s go check Craig’s List for a pro-bono lawyer and sue Momma Mim. We haven’t lost our chance at a feline of our own yet.

 

Canine Conversations – New Year Revolutions.

Sherlock: Hello to all. Sherlock and Shasta here to share our New Year Revolutions.

Shasta: It is resolutions, you goof ball.

Sherlock: What fun is that? Watch this – I make at least 20 revolutions in less than a minute in it –

Shasta: As impressed with yourself as you are, it doesn’t change the fact that we are here to make resolutions – not revolutions. I will make the first one. I resolve to not leave balls at the top of the stairs for Momma Mim to trip on.

Shasta and stairs

Sherlock: I don’t like this business. It implies I am doing something I need to change.

Shasta: You have many things you need to change. Let’s start with you resolving not to pull on Momma Mim’s robe when she sits down and gets nice and comfy.   That really is a doggie no-no.

Robe tugging

Sherlock: Nonsense! I do it for her well being. She will get fat if she sits all day. Hey! There is an idea. Let’s make resolutions for Momma Mim. Like, she won’t pick up my toys after I have them nice and scattered.  Do you know how much work it is to get each one in its proper place.

Nice and neat It's a mess

Shasta: {Sigh} I give up. You do your revolutions and I will do my resolutions. My second is I will make sure Momma Mim never has a cold lap.warm lap

Sherlock: You need to do that. Because I’m going to make sure she never has warm feet. Those socks are mine! Bahahahahah!!!!!

2014-12-02 21.12.45

Shasta: Enough of you already. I can see this is not going to work. So I will just bid everyone Happy 2015. May all wishes come true.

Sherlock: Me too! Me too! Enjoy your 2015. And may you all have a poodle grace your life this year. And if not poodles – then fame and fortune (although poodles are the better than F&F.) And don’t forget to treat yourself by running free every moment you get because there are others out there who won’t get the chance in the coming year. Peace – my friends – peace.

run baby run

Canine Conversations – A Night in Market Square

Christmas 4

Sherlock: “Whoa! Look at that tree. Momma Mim didn’t tell us it was Christmas.”

Christmas 1

Shasta: “Sure enough. Look over there. It’s Santa”

christmas 2

Sherlock: “Quick!!! Look like you’re a good dog.”

christmas 3

Shasta: “Dang Sherlock. You couldn’t even go five seconds without looking like the Lil Sh%& you are. Coal for you – bones for me.”

 

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