Rabid Ramblings – That Which Strikes Fear in the Hearts of Heros.

Shasta writing today.

I’m a big girl.  Big boned. Big hearted. And full of big ideas.  But I have a big fear: monsters under the bed.  Momma Mim keeps saying there aren’t any there, but you be the judge.

It all started when I kept feeling like something was starting at me. MM said I was paranoid.

Don't look behind you 2

Don't look behind you photoshop

Then one day I dropped my toy by the edge of the bed. When I went to retrieve it, there was SOMETHING there. At first I thought it was a dust bunny. MM is pretty good about cleaning, but sometimes dust bunnies move in. Then it moved. It seemed friendly enough.

Monster under the bed 1

It gave me a big toothy grin so I moved in to check it out. What a silly looking thing. It seemed like a clown creature – not a monster.

Monster under the bed 2

But then, just as I was about to invite it out to join me in a game of squeaky toy, the beast relieved itself.

Monster under the bed 3

This thing was bat ship crazy.  It was loony and evil at the same time.

Monster under the bed 4

It reminded me of Yosemite Sam – mean to the core with crazy eyes.

Yosemite_Sam

I ran to get MM and she looked under the bed. Nothing she said. I insisted. She got out the flashlight and showed me. It was gone.  But I knew it would be back. MM said I was being silly.  We watched a movie called Monsters Inc. where the monsters were nice. But I knew what I saw. That was not a cute cuddly Sully.  I drew her a picture.

evil poodle

She said that looked like her sister. Again, she said I was being silly. There is no such thing as monsters. And if there were, they wouldn’t want to live under our bed. It is pretty boring under there. I agree. I have wiggled under there a few times myself and there is nothing going on. So I will just chill. I’m sure there is nothing to worry about!

Monster under the bed 5

Right??????

Tail Out Tuesday – Darn Amazon.

Momma Mim blogging today.

I just had to vent. Why can’t things look the same when you get them as they did on the web site. This was suppose to be beige – not Cafe Au Lait brown. And no where in the description did it mention the tail.  Sigh!

Well, I guess I will keep it anyway.  It would be a pain to get to the postal store. Plus, it goes well with the white one I have.  I just hope it is easy to keep clean.

Didn't match the description'

[Post-note: Once I got it up in the room it did look beige and I didn’t notice the tail at all.  I tried to use it to keep the TV from getting slobbered on but discovered putting the white on top of the beige one still resulted in a spit covered telly.  2015-03-18 00.18.28

I wonder if it comes in Black?]

{Post-note to the post-note: This is not unlike the time I ordered a polar bear skin rug and was sent this:

2013-02-25 00.33.51

I sent it back and told them it was larger in the picture and they sent this:

2013-02-24 01.56.01

While closer to the web site photo, it still wasn’t right. I decided to go with a different company and received this:

sleepy frog dog

They tried to sell me a white furry frog instead of the promised polar bear rug. Where is the truth in advertising these days?}

Mutt Movies – History Was Made With the Last Running of the Belmont Stakes.

Sherlock blogging today.

Let me start off by saying the only reason I insisted Momma Mim turn on the telly was because I heard the Belmont Steaks was on. I always enjoy a good steak.  I was very delighted to learn horses were involved. Some of my best friends are horses. I bark at the police horses and the horses that give rides in carriages around downtown.  They love that!

I quickly picked up on this betting thing.  I was able to get in a quick wager with the boxer next door on the race.  I could tell who would win because, well; I’m Sherlock. No clue escapes me. And of course I won. Three bones, a bag of Snausages, and the exclusive rights to bark at the local opossum – mine! All mine!!!

Momma Mim took some video of the race because she said history could be made.  And it was. For the first time in history, a poodle gave an Academy Award winning performance in a documentary.  I expect the Oscar – steak Oscar. I like asparagus, crab, and Bearnaise sauce!

Watch the video and judge for yourself. Regardless of an Oscar or not, I am already a winner. And American Pharoah wasn’t so bad himself.

Tongue Out Tuesday – Words Hurt

Sherlock blogging today.

Fudge my life! Last night we were hanging out at bed time waiting for Momma Mim to do this weird thing humans do with getting ready to sleep. [If they would just turn in a circle for four or five times, lay down, and close their eyes, it would go a lot faster.] Shasta had grabbed my spot right beside Momma Mim and was shamelessly hogging all the attention. I looked and saw Momma Mim’s fingers in Shasta’s mouth.

Ah ha! Finally Momma Mim was wondering why Shasta didn’t have a lovely long tongue like mine and was digging around to see what the problem was. I stuck out my tongue so MM would have a good example to judge by.

finger in mouth

Shasta seemed to be kind of gnawing on MM’s finger and MM was talking to her in a baby voice – surely to keep Shasta from freaking on her lack of stellar tongue.  MM rubbed Shasta’s nose and her fingers when back in Shasta’s mouth.  Obviously, MM was concerned. I stuck my tongue out even further to assure MM even if Shasta was sub-par, she still had me.

second touge out

Then, MM looked at me and said, “What are you doing silly dog.”  Silly dog? Here I am trying to help and she calls me silly. I was hurt. I needed my favorite fluffy toy. I left.

sherlock leaving

As I left I heard Shasta say, “I got your spot, silly dog. Ha ha ha!” I was tempted to just run away. But then I heard MM get up to wash Shasta’s nasty slobber off her hands(my slobber is like silk and I’m sure she wouldn’t have washed it off,) the treat bag she keeps on her dresser open, and her say, “Night night time Sherlock. Come get a treat. Let’s go night night.” Being the big hearted dog I am, I forgave them both. Plus, when Shasta got up to get her treat, I got my spot back. I may be silly but I am silly smart.

So remember, words may hurt, but it isn’t anything a good bacon flavored treat can’t fix 😉

TBT: The Puppy Chronicles – Who Would Want Catfish When They Could Have Dogfish?

Sherlock penning today.

Are you ready to see the very definition of cute? Are you ready to go awwwww to the point you almost pass out?  Are you ready to cry tears of joy because you have feasted your eyes on the most precious video ever? Well, sit down, grab a tissue and watch this video of Momma Mim “fishing” for me:

I know! I know! I was a living doll. I don’t know why people want to watch cats on the internet. Show me a cat that has that much fluffy on-screen presence. Yes, I have seen some cute videos of cats playing with things on strings, but they never added the dust mop cuteness that I did.

And if you just think it is my ego, let me tell you I think this applies to all dog vs cat pictures and videos online.  Grumpy cat has nothing on happy puppy.  The next time you are about to share that LOL Cat picture, just stop and think: would that cat bring you a stick back if you threw it? Would that cat take you for a walk every day just to make sure you stay healthy? Would that cat catch a Frisbee? No. Stop and find a nice pup to share. And if you really want to share love, joy, and fluffy cuteness find and share a poodle!

(PS: this doesn’t mean I still don’t want a cat of my own.  If you see Momma Mim please tell her how much her pets need a pet. Licks and snuggles to you all.)

Tongue Out Tuesday – From This Day Forward You Will Be Called Noodle

Shasta with you today.

Momma Mim tries. And sometimes she gets it right. Other times she really messes up. Take naming her dogs for example. She tagged me properly. When I was a pup and came to live with her, I was a pretty brown and they told her I would be big.  She immediately came up with Mt. Shasta Cola. Mt. Shasta because of my big size; and, Shasta Cola after my color, (I look more like a Shasta Cola after the ice has melted now.)

But she missed the mark when it came to naming Sherlock.  If Sherlock ever makes you look at his papers – boring – you will see a whole bunch of names. But the call name Momma Mim gave him was Sherlock.  She did this because poodles are suppose to be the second smartest breed, (although you and I know we are the first. Have you ever tried to discuss world peace and curing cancer with a Border Collie? We poodles are obviously much brighter.) The Sherlock from the books was very cleaver too so she though it would fit. She could not have gotten it more wrong. She should have named him Noodle.

This is where we get to our Tongue Out Tuesday picture. Look at this goof ball:

dog goes left

Note how he is going left but his tongue is going right.  And it isn’t just his tongue that is noodley.  In this one his front goes one way and his back end just stays the course:

Legs go one way

If you read our exchange on Westminster, you will perhaps remember the picture I used to show he lacked proper poodle posture. Here he is last night with the same pose in an opposite direction:

noodle the poodle

If that doesn’t look like a piece of spaghetti thrown at random, I don’t know what does.

I will also point out that Noodle doesn’t just describe his bendy ability.  He is also a noodle head if I ever met one.  Look – he thinks he is hiding:

sherlock hiding

Where’s Sherlock? I don’t see Sherlock. Do you see Sherlock? Geeze!!!

So I say this day forward, Sherlock the Standard Poodle just be know as Noodle the Poodle. And it is so.

Canine Conversations – You Missed the Westminster Boat By An Ocean

Sherlock and Shasta chatting today;

Sherlock: Oh my gosh! Shasta! OMG! Shasta! SHASTA! It’s awful. It’s horrid. It’s unthinkable.

Shasta: Slow down there my favorite Fruit Cake. What is wrong with you?

Sherlock: I missed the Westminster Dog Show!!!

Shasta: It’s okay. Momma Mim can load it up for you on the telly to watch. Chill.

sherlock looking up close

Sherlock: No. You don’t understand. I was suppose to go to the show. I was suppose to be in the dog show. I was suppose to win the dog show.

Shasta: That is ridiculous.  We aren’t show dogs. We are pet dogs.

Sherlock: You may be a just a pet dog. But that is because you were a puppy mill rescue. I am a show dog. Let me go get my papers. My papers prove I am a show dog.

Shasta: I have seen your papers. A million times. {Sigh} You can line a birdcage with them as far as Westminster goes. First off: there is nothing wrong with me. I am 100% spoo. It is true I was rescued from an awful life. But the people at the poodle rescue found me my Momma Mim and now I sleep in a king size bed, have more than my share of toys and chews, and am the boss of you.

I own you

Sherlock: I let you win…sometimes… But my papers show that my dad was a Canadian champion and my mom was a US champion. My grandfather won Westminster’s Non-sporting group. It is my job to carry the torch and win the whole thing.

Shasta: DNA in your case stands for Don’t Notice Anything. For starters, didn’t you notice the poodles at Westminster don’t look anything like either of us? Let’s start with your topknot. A show dog has a long luxurious topknot. Like this:

black poo photoshoped

Your topknot flops. Like this:

Bad flattop sherlock

Sherlock: I can grow a topknot like you have never seen. Just watch me.

Shasta: Then there is they way show dogs carry themselves. See the great posture on this dog? She looks like royalty.

good posture

Now look at your silly self. You look decapitated.

decapitated sherlock

Sherlock: That bow is cheating. I’m a boy. I can’t wear a bow. But I have perfect poodle posture.

Sherlock good posture

I’m down right regal.

Shasta: Do you know to be a show dog, you have to get Momma Mim to get your hair cut like this good looking guy?

silver dog

You can’t show up looking like this:

11111449915_3bfec34f4a_o

Sherlock: Again! No fair. I had just had a “spa” mud treatment. But ohhhh. Look at that cut. He has ball butt. I want a ball butt. Mine will be the roundest fluffiest balls a butt has ever seen. I know Momma Mim will let me have them. She let me have foot balls. (Get it? Footballs – I crack myself up.)

Sherlock foot balls

Shasta: Speaking of balls… As soon as you stop laughing at  yourself, I will give you the last and final reason you can’t win Westminster. Only dogs that can make puppies are allowed. The original purpose of dog shows was to evaluate breeding stock. And; everyone having the same equipment makes judging more fair. You had your boy puppy-making balls removed. I think Momma Mim has them in a jar in the garage. 😉  So there. This fine rescue dog has just as much chance of winning Westminster as you do.

Sherlock: Oh my gosh! Momma Mim! OMG! Momma Mim! MOMMA MIM!!! It’s awful. It’s horrid. It’s unthinkable…….

~

{Shasta: Thank you to Branna, Carmel, and Calder for helping me show Sherlock what a sharp looking poodle is suppose to look like. And no matter if we are black, apricot, red, parti, silver, brown, or white – toy, mini, or standard – show dogs or pet dogs – rescues or well planned litters: we poodles are always canine superstars!}

It’s In My Mouth Monday – A very good reason!

Sherlock blogging today.sherlock in my mouth blue toy

For today’s It’s In My Mouth Monday, I picked a blue springy toy that has four – yes, that’s right – four squeakers in it.  Do I have it in my mouth because it is springy? No. Do I have it in my mouth because it is my favorite color blue? No. Do I have it in my mouth because of the squeakers in it? While that is a bonus, no.

I have it in my mouth because Shasta wants to play with it. And that is the best reason of all!!!

Canine Conversations – I Rofve You!

Shasta and Sherlock chatting today.

Sherlock: Hey Shasta? Happy Valentines Day. I rofve you.

sherlock heart one

Shasta: No you don’t. The other day, you ask Momma Mim if the circus was in town and needed any brown poodles.

sherlock hate one

Sherlock: Pssst. Oh Shasta? I rofve you!

sherlock hearts 2

Shasta: You most certainly do not. I took one bite of your treat the other day and you went pure evil.

sherlock hate 2

Sherlock: Shasta! Shasta!! Shasta!!! I rofve you!!!!

sherlock kisses

Shasta: No you don’t. You won’t share your toys, you hog the bed and don’t let me have a pillow, and you laugh when I pass unladylike gas……

……

……

{Sigh.} Hey Sherlock? Will you be my valentine? I rofve you too.

Shasta hearts

Sherlock: I knew it!!!!!!!!!!! You and me – best buds forever. Now, let’s go bug Momma Mim.  I’ll distract her and you steal her cookie from the counter. We are the best team ever………

BFF's

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