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Rabid Ramblings – That Which Strikes Fear in the Hearts of Heros.

Shasta writing today.

I’m a big girl.  Big boned. Big hearted. And full of big ideas.  But I have a big fear: monsters under the bed.  Momma Mim keeps saying there aren’t any there, but you be the judge.

It all started when I kept feeling like something was starting at me. MM said I was paranoid.

Don't look behind you 2

Don't look behind you photoshop

Then one day I dropped my toy by the edge of the bed. When I went to retrieve it, there was SOMETHING there. At first I thought it was a dust bunny. MM is pretty good about cleaning, but sometimes dust bunnies move in. Then it moved. It seemed friendly enough.

Monster under the bed 1

It gave me a big toothy grin so I moved in to check it out. What a silly looking thing. It seemed like a clown creature – not a monster.

Monster under the bed 2

But then, just as I was about to invite it out to join me in a game of squeaky toy, the beast relieved itself.

Monster under the bed 3

This thing was bat ship crazy.  It was loony and evil at the same time.

Monster under the bed 4

It reminded me of Yosemite Sam – mean to the core with crazy eyes.

Yosemite_Sam

I ran to get MM and she looked under the bed. Nothing she said. I insisted. She got out the flashlight and showed me. It was gone.  But I knew it would be back. MM said I was being silly.  We watched a movie called Monsters Inc. where the monsters were nice. But I knew what I saw. That was not a cute cuddly Sully.  I drew her a picture.

evil poodle

She said that looked like her sister. Again, she said I was being silly. There is no such thing as monsters. And if there were, they wouldn’t want to live under our bed. It is pretty boring under there. I agree. I have wiggled under there a few times myself and there is nothing going on. So I will just chill. I’m sure there is nothing to worry about!

Monster under the bed 5

Right??????

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It’s In My Mouth Monday – A very good reason!

Sherlock blogging today.sherlock in my mouth blue toy

For today’s It’s In My Mouth Monday, I picked a blue springy toy that has four – yes, that’s right – four squeakers in it.  Do I have it in my mouth because it is springy? No. Do I have it in my mouth because it is my favorite color blue? No. Do I have it in my mouth because of the squeakers in it? While that is a bonus, no.

I have it in my mouth because Shasta wants to play with it. And that is the best reason of all!!!

TBT: The Puppy Chronicles – Just Do It

Sherlock blogging today.

8861836215_803bba77b9_o

Don’t fight it. Give into the urge. I was cute as a puppy and I am stunning as a two year old.  You want to buy me things. But you aren’t sure what such a magnificent creature would find worthy as a gift.

I will give you some help.  If it squeaks; it is good.  If it smells like it is dead, rotting, or deep fried; it is good. If it is produced by Oscar Meyer, Spam, or Chicken of the Sea; it is good.  If it bounces and fits in my mouth; it is good.  If it falls into the Rodentia order; it is good. If it has stuffing that I can rip out and spread all over the floor; it is good. If Momma Mim says I can’t have it; it is great.

So go ahead and look at that face and follow your instincts. If you don’t know where I live and can’t give it to me directly, take it to your local animal rescue. The karma will get back to me sooner or later.

Tongue Out Tuesday – The Stuff of Legends

Sherlock sharing today.

Me in my Miami

There are many things that earn me the name Super Standard Sherlock – Defender of Poodle-kind. Take my tongue for example.  As you can see from the photo above, it is epic.  My human thinks I have it out so much because it is hot here in Houston, but I am really just showing the world what a fine body part it is. In fact, it is too glorious to be kept hidden in my mouth. So, I share it with my admiring public.

I have heard of this creature called an Ant Eater that is suppose to have a better tongue than I. Let me first say, eating ants is silly. I have eaten a cockroach – was not good – tasted like the rubbish bin.  I have eaten June bugs – not bad – be careful not to get a leg caught in your throat. I have eaten moths – very tasty – wings are a little dry but the flavor is a little “taste like chicken.” But an ant? Why bother. I won’t even waste my time on a cookie crumb that small. So this critter might have a longer tongue than I, but he has questionable taste as to what he does with it.

I will let you judge for yourself as to whether the tongue pictured above is not the best darn licker you have ever seen. And if you want proof, make an appointment with my secretary and bring a jar of peanut butter. I will be happy to prove it in person.

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